How to Make Your Divorce as Painless as Possible
Divorce is a painful process. It represents the end of hopes and dreams, and there will be anger and grief. There will also be some fear about the future. Will I still see my kids? Will I have enough money to live on? How is my life going to change?
Your attorney cannot get rid of all the negative aspects of a divorce, but there are things you can do that will help your attorney to help you.
Make sure your attorney knows everything she needs to know; provide her with all relevant facts. Sometimes those facts might be embarrassing, or you think they will make you look bad. Tell your attorney anyway! She cannot protect you if she doesn’t have all the necessary information.
While we’re on the subject of facts, your attorney is going to ask you for information and documentation about your assets and debts. This is not a meaningless exercise; she really does need that information and the associated documents. Start looking for those documents immediately, and keep them organized.
If you have a presence on any social media (FaceBook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.), stop posting. Especially stop posting pictures of your kids, your spouse, anything that could make you look bad. But don’t delete anything—that’s called destroying evidence and it may be a crime.
If you don’t already have a job, start looking for one. If you need to brush up your skills, get some more education or training, do it now.
Make every effort to be civil to your spouse. He or she is going to be in your life for a long time, especially if you have kids. You can disagree without being disagreeable. If love is gone, substitute in politeness. If you just can’t bring yourself to be polite, consider using an online co-parenting web site or have all communications go through your attorney. But work on that civility.
Consider some therapy. You are going through a very difficult time, and getting some help to process the emotions is a good idea.
Be patient. You probably want this over with immediately, but it will take time.
At Pagel Family Law, it is our goal to make the process of restructuring your family as smooth and painless as possible. If you would like to discuss your options, give us a call.