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Do’s and Don’ts During a Divorce

Elizabeth S. Pagel, PLLC Sept. 19, 2023

  • DO check all social networking sites and consider shutting them down while the case is pending.

  • DO make provisions for your safety and that of your children, if there is a threat of violence.

  • DO inform your attorney of all relevant facts.

  • DO talk to your attorney about any pre-nups and post-nups that you have signed.

  • DO consider seeing a mental health professional if you feel you need help.

  • DO walk away from all arguments with your spouse

  • DO begin gathering documents early in the process, especially those necessary for your Inventory and Appraisement

  • DO attend the court-mandated parenting class.

  • DO complete all assignments from your attorney.

  • DO familiarize yourself with your financial estate.

  • DO speak to your children’s teachers and school counselors.

  • DO pay your bills.

  • DO pay your attorney fees!

  • DO consult with a tax professional or CPA.

  • DO start a list of fact witnesses for your lawyer.

  • DO listen to your attorney closely and follow her advice

  • DO be completely honest with your attorney, especially disclosing “bad facts.”

  • DO make sure your attorney knows about any criminal history

  • DO be on your best behavior during your divorce.

  • DO stop cursing in all forms, especially in texts and emails to your spouse

  • DO change passwords to your email and social media accounts, and any private bank accounts.

  • DO open a private bank account

  • DO act as if every conversation is being recorded

  • DO act as if everything you write down will be read by the judge

  • DO act as if every behavior is being observed and recorded by a private investigator

  • DO participate in your kids’ school and extracurricular activities, and make sure you are familiar with their teachers, doctors, babysitters, and other significant people in their lives.

  • DO participate in your kids’ doctor and dentist appointments.

  • DO NOT tap phones or record any conversations, unless you are a party to the conversation.

  • DO NOT install computer tracking software.

  • DO NOT install any tracking device on your spouse’s vehicle.

  • DO NOT violate any standing court order, temporary order, or injunction.

  • DO NOT transfer or withdraw large amounts of money after filing for divorce.

  • DO NOT shred or destroy any documents.

  • DO NOT change designations on insurance, retirement, or other estate documents.

  • DO NOT sell any property without the Court’s permission.

  • DO NOT take the kids out of school or enroll them in a new school.

  • DO NOT incur large or frivolous debts.

  • DO NOT share divorce documents with your kids

  • DO NOT discuss the issues involved in the divorce with your kids.

  • DO NOT start another romantic relationship

  • DO NOT discuss privileged information with anyone.

  • DO NOT forward your attorney’s emails to anyone.

  • DO NOT post anything about your divorce on any social networking site

  • DO NOT remove the kids from the state to change their residence

  • DO NOT open your spouse’s mail

  • DO NOT divert your spouse’s mail.

  • DO NOT check your spouse’s email

  • DO NOT hack into your spouse’s electronic accounts

  • DO NOT call CPS or the police without calling your attorney first

  • DO NOT expect that your divorce will be over with quickly or inexpensively.

  • DO NOT be rude to your spouse

  • DO NOT believe your spouse or any member of his family

  • DO NOT negotiate with your spouse or make deals with him/her without your attorney’s knowledge and approval.

  • DO NOT sign anything without your attorney

  • DO NOT be intimidated

  • DO NOT alienate or bad-mouth your spouse to the kids

  • DO NOT pay for plastic surgery or other luxury items

  • DO NOT write or send nasty emails or text messages

  • DO NOT take scandalous or provocative photos of yourself